I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
