Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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