I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
