the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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