Don't you send me to vm
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
