I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
