Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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