# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
