just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
