omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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