You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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