Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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