he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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