I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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