Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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