Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
do herpes really smell.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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