New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
