We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dignity is for republicans.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
