I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
