thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
