For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
