ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
