508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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