Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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