Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I haven't been this sober since birth.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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