Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize