apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
