Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
