literally had 100 drinks last night.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
