There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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