I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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