he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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