She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
