we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
