he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize