Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
