His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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