Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
