don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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