Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
