yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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