This is not my ceiling
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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