Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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