I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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