I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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