So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
