im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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