we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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