The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize