it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You need a sexual gate keeper
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
