just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize