I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize