i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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