That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
