did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
