So drunk, too bad you don't want this
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
