So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
